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aBouT uS (oR, WHo aM uS?):
a TaLe oF TWo MiSSioN STaTeMeNTS:
FoR ouR ReaDeRS:
I hate mission statements;
they bring to mind grant applications or the first Blues Bros. movie.
That said, when our web designer declared we needed an editorial or statement
of intention, I said, "okayfine."
Mid-August. Firefighters from Australia &
New Zealand had come to the Pacific Northwest to help with the various
forest fires in Oregon-and state & federal agencies haggled over who
was going to pay for what. September. 9-11 anniversary drum rolls on the
radio, in print, on television. Phosphor harvest moons rose up through
SUV smog. Halloween gear in galleria storefronts, along with back-to-school
gear & Christmas decorations. The whole mad reaping from 15 years
of frenzied CEO flopsweat abrogation, and Dias De Los Muertos-and 9-11,
again. We prepared our premiere Halloween/Dias De Los Muertos issue. Distributors
said they needed more time.
As the cold, dry fall came, so, too, the demonstrations.
Smart mobs, the Generation Txt, gathered in Seattle, Portland, S.F., L.A.,
& New York & Chicago & D.C. every Friday. 100,000 people gathered
in D.C. to protest Bush's unilateral Iraq policy, & the New York Times
& NPR gathered to downgrade the assembled to 10,000 & packed their
bags to go home just as the demonstration began.
A terrorist bombing in Bali killed over 200 nightclubbers-Asians,
Australians (54 confirmed dead), Europeans, a few Americans. (It wasn't
about the oil.)
Elections called for next Spring in Israel after
Sharon received Votes of No Confidence.
A famous Booker-short-listed Canadian author of
Indian descent cut off a major US book tour, after being subjected to
racial profiling at each airport.
A CIA spy plane killed Al-Qaeda terrorists in
Yemen.
As we go to press in November of 2002, a US election
is held among drum rolls for another war with Iraq, & the SEC commissioner
resigns-the polls neck-&-neck-not everyone in the US seemed to sign
off on a unilateral war, after all. Yet Bush won the House & Senate.
The magazine you now hold is having its Groundhog
Day debut. Groundhog Day, February 2 nd, 2003. February 2nd is also a
major Brazilian holiday, birthday of the major Candomblé goddess.
So does the groundhog see peace or bombs? Does the Brazilian Candomblé
goddess depart from the earth, back to sea or sky, in disgust? Or does
she stay for Carnivale?
People have talked about the Global Village since
the 1960s. Yet American culture tends to be schizoid, simultaneously Multi-Kulti
and Isolationist. We tend not to engage in international dialogue-witness
the English Only movements. (Americans aren't the only ones; the French
have managed to be even more hysterical about dangers to the mother tongue.
And French Canadians, even worse.) Yet there are Americans who are bilingual
or multilingual.
There are a few good forums that present writing
from around the world. But things inevitably do get lost in translation.
And there are censorship issues, either due to political or sexual content-Gore
Vidal's latest essay collection addresses an appalling & very recent
case in point.-But to paraphrase an Irish proverb, it gets worse before
it gets worse.
As part of the U.S.A. Patriot Act, Section 215,
the U.S. government claims the right to examine any & all bookstore,
library, and newspaper records, to see who is reading what-and booksellers
& librarians & newspaper editors contacted by the Patriots at
Justice & the FBI have no right to discuss this with anyone, not even
an attorney. However, when the House Judiciary Committee asked Ashcroft
if Section 215 had been used to seize records from bookstores, libraries,
or newspapers, the Justice Department dragged its heels for months; and
then in late July Asst. Attorney General Daniel J. Bryant replied that
the answers were classified.
Now, more than ever, it is important to keep your
ear to the ground, to listen, to watch, to read. To read everything. Hence,
Gobshite Quarterly.
Why Gobshite? It is a word that gives offense
to some. But one must hesitate before giving in to the easily-offended.
By controlling speech, one controls thought; why else would the censors
be so vigorously censorious? Wasn't it Pulitzer who said journalism should
comfort the afflicted & afflict the comfortable?
Gobshite is used primarily in Ireland & England;
one dictionary, I forget which, lists Gobshite as a "pernicious blatherskite,
a contemptible person." On BBC America, & according to friends
living in the U.K., the word is freely used, sometimes as a verb or adjective,
and usually not without some grudging affection. The etymology listed
in the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 4th Ed.,
refers to a wad of expectorated chaw, and to the Middle English shiten.
According to OED online, the U.S. Navy used Gobshyte, in 1910. Again,
according to OED online, at the time of Adm. Perry's expedition to Asia,
the "Orientals" called the American sailors Gobshites.
Gobshite Quarterly exists in a world where people
listen to the news and say to each other that what they have just heard
is complete bullshit or gobshite, and even if these skeptics are not exactly
right, they're not wrong. If Cocteau was alive, he might be tempted to
define the news as the truth that tells a lie.
And on September 11, 2001, those planes crashing
into buildings really drove the point home; though everyone since then
has argued about the point. And for those who continued to ignore the
point a bomb went off on a resort island in Indonesia & killed over
200 tourists & locals. This is the Global Village, and any magazine
operating within its borders should present the best writing from everywhere
within it.
And to truly present the best writing from around
the world, works originally written in a foreign language ought to be
published bilingually, or sometimes trilingually....
And this we do. English is the lingua franca (except in the Arab world,
where French still holds sway), though it is only one language. Our 1st
& 2nd issues so far feature Czech, Hungarian, French, Lebanese, Palestinian,
Mexican, & Argentine writing, as well as British, Australian, and
American....
And a personal to Cokie Roberts: Take a look at the child prodigy Paul
Krassner's Irony Lives!, s'il vous plaît.
This, our 1st, is the Groundhog Day, 2003 issue.
Our 2nd, Cinco De Mayo, 2003. Our 3rd, Bastille Day, 2003. Our 4th, Halloween/Dia
De Los Muertos. Thereafter, we do it again.
Think of GobQ & Gobshite Quarterly as your Rosetta Stone for the New
World Order. - R.V.B.
FoR ouR CoNTRiBuToRS:
To honor the integrity of the author's vision
& intention, & not let editorial sensibilities be ruled by considerations
of sexual or political content, or by political correctness or cant in
any guise. (For further information & guidelines, visit our website,
or write.)
Of all the gin joints in all the world, why not check into ours?
GoBSHiTe QUaRTeRLy SaYS
FuCK aSHCRoFT, LeT'S ReaD eVeRyTHiNG *
*) Available in M, L, XL, XXL teeshirts from GobQ
store
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